English version by Anca Șovagău
Original version in Romanian by Natalia Luncaș Ionel, available here: Bunica Taniușa
Photographer: Vlad Bodarev
“I want Damian to know the value of the family and I know that if he feels love at home, he definitely will know the Romanian language as well as the tradition of our country.”
Before publishing any text about the grandparents, I call them and read it to them. Because this project, “Like Grandparents in Fairytales”, is meant to stay in their family for at least 50 years, the article is not written for the sake of ephemeral likes and this fact puts a 50 times bigger responsibility on my shoulders.” Natalia, you managed to illustrate so well, all that our family lived with, good or bad.”, grandmother Taniusa told me over the phone, saying that she was holding Lenuta’s hands tight as well.” We are in the same place at the table where we discussed last month, and we are living the same emotions. You have no idea how many positive emotions you brought to this house with your project”, she continues.
Grandmother Taniusa, whose face should be in the DEX (explanatory dictionary of the Romanian language), beside the word “gentleness”, was shaking when I met her, she never had the experience of being interviewed, especially putting her soul on a tray. A shiver went through me: she looked so much like my mom. Especially when she cries …
“My name is Tatiana. I’m 54 years old. I am the mother of Lenuta and Dami’s grandmother”. – begins her presentation to the grandmother. In their family, they all have diminutives: Taniusa, Lenuta, Vasilica, Dami.” Just as in my family”, I say to myself. “All I wish for is for Dami to know that the family is the nucleus from where life starts. We must be together forever: to worse but especially to the good” – continues Grandmother Taniusa, relaxing a little bit, sign that she allows me to reach her soul.
Tatiana Popova is originally from the village of Puhoi, county Ialoveni, Republic of Moldova. Typist by profession. Pushed by the poverty that reached Moldova after the independence, she left for Russia for five years. She also left for Italy, but a tragic event in the family changed all the paths of her life. In Ireland, she has lived for almost three years having the sweetest activity in the world: she is a grandmother.
Mother Tania
“I got married at the age of 22. I come from a very united family, loving and always willing to help when needed. My maiden name is Riulet and after my husband I am Popova. I had Lenuta when I was 23, and with her, my life path changed. I worked as a typist, but because my salary was way too low, I ended up working at a factory in my country. I raised Lenuta with a lot of love. All that was best in this world, I tried to offer her. I remember a TV show called Alondra, where it was, presented an incredibly beautiful relationship between a mother and her daughter. My daughter Lenuta never had a great father-daughter relationship. She never had this with my ex-husband, and this determined me to give her even more love, and dedication and the result of all these are seen even today”!
When Lenuta was only nine years old, Tatiana decided to go to Moscow after being newly divorced. She lived five years in Russia, and this marked her the most as a mother. She trusted her parents, and her sister to take care of the preteenager daughter. Although she knows that Lenuta missed her mother’s warmth back then.
“I had to leave to Russia because it was too hard for me financially: my salary wasn’t enough, and because I was a single mom, we couldn’t manage to maintain ourselves. With a lot of pain, but I left. I knew that there wasn’t any other solution. When I got back home after five years, I was thinking of going to Italy, where all the other women were going back then because the pay was better, but Lenuta was praying every day: Only if my mom won’t go! I had all the documents prepared for the trip to Italy…”
Note: The independence of the Republic of Moldova came in 1991 and with a lot of poverty for the citizens of the country, one of the main factors that contributed to the mass immigration. Actually, before the collapse of the URSS, the incomes of the Soviet population decreased their real value at least three times. The average monthly salary in 1991 was 434 rubbles (The value of today’s euros. €96.)-3 times less. The minimum was reached in 1993 when the medium salary was 31.2 monthly lei (Or the value of today’s euro – €1.5 ) The first 29 years of independence the real salary of the Moldavians grew 4.1 times. (Source: ionita.md: The evolution of the salary in Moldova in the last 100 years.)
Grandmother Taniusa
As much happiness as the news that she would be a grandmother brought her as big was the worry. Lenuta was already living in Ireland and the thought that she was so far away from her daughter in such an important moment of her life was bothering her.” All I could do was to pray to the Mother of God that everything will be ok”.
When she was 16, Lenuta was involved in a car accident and was seriously injured. The rehabilitation period lasted a few months, and the doctors were saying that her daughter could be affected for life. Tatiana, the mother, had only one thought: “No matter what or how I just want to be by her side”.
She never got to Italy. From that accident on Tatiana never separated from Lenuta.” Between us, there is an unexplained bond. I can’t imagine my life without her. Even though we are far from each other, I know exactly what she feels. Many times, we say the same things at the same time. Lenuta is my soul and Dami, my grandchild – my little heart”!
Note: According to the Republic of Moldova’s National Bureau of Statistics, the most popular destination of Moldovan immigrants (40.7%) in total, Ukraine (26.4%), Romania (9.9%), Italy (6.5%), USA (6.1%). Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any facts that showed the trajectory of the immigrants from the Ukraine war.
FAMILY – THE NUCLEUS WHERE LIFE BEGINS
“My grandchild is a real miracle”, says grandmother Tanusha, with tears in her eyes.
Impatiently, the four-year-old boy rushed into the room where we were having the conversation and started to ask tens of questions by second.
– Damian: “What’s this?”
– Natalia: “A microphone.”
– D.: “For what?”
– N: “So, I can hear your grandmother better.”
– D: “Vlad, come and take a picture with me. Granny, come! let’s make pancakes!”
– And my microphone gets inside the flour, on the table. I still had tears down my throat from the painful discussion with Grandmother Taniusa.
When Damian interrupted us with his smile up to his ears and his curious eyes, the well-known verse from Feli’s song called “Two Hearts” came to my mind: No matter if you’re Christian or atheist, God is explained through you. Or if not, how could this tiny soul bring so much happiness to a body that went through so much pain? Just as the doctors predicted, Lenuta still feels the consequences of the accident. Maybe not physically, but morally the memory of the accident is very painful.
– Grandmother, Taniusa: “What you couldn’t give to your children, give to your grandchildren. The most painful in my soul is, even up to today, that I left Lenuta, and I went into the wide world. I now try to be by her side as much as I can and help her in everything.
– Natalia: How much time do you spend with Damian every day?
– Grandmother Taniusa: “Nonstop. 24 hours a day. He even sleeps with me at night”.
–” List two things, that come to your mind and that you would want Damian to know about his nation.
– “Our mother tongue language, the language spoken by his grandparents, great grandparents and all his country”.
– “But it’s very hard to keep the Romanian language alive in an English-speaking country”.
– “Yes, I know that is difficult but it’s not impossible. I hope he will never forget it”.
– “And what’s the second one”?
– “That he will never forget the traditions, the songs, the dances, to know how we celebrate Christmas and Easter. And one more thing: a particularly important one: I want very much for Damian to know the value of the family and I know that, if he feels loved at home, he will definitely know the language and our traditions as well. We always fixed everything with the family no matter how hard it was. If someone is sick or has problems – in the family, we all help each other. On the opposite hand: if someone is happy or has success – the family will show them the sincerest happiness. In my family, I always knew what help and support meant. Everyone around was saying: “You cannot find more united persons as the daughters of “Badea Darie” (grandmother Taniusa’s father) and they were right. We received this type of education from home, and I hope this will get to my grandchildren. They should remember that family is the nucleus where life begins. Damian needs to get to know his cousins because, unfortunately, today, these links with the extended family get lost easily. Our Damian knows that he is always welcome to Moldova and that all our family loves him, and this is how he will start to enjoy our traditions and also the language. If they are imposed-he will never remember them”.
I left, leaving Damian and Grandmother Taniusa with the pancakes. Dami was telling his grandmother everything that was going through his mind and the grandmother was drawing for him, inside the pan a bear, a little boy. “And I want my little heart now!” – the little one, with blackberry eyes, continued his list of orders.
For Damian, Grandmother Taniusa is that oasis of peace and safety. The grandmother takes care of him by keeping his mother healthy. She offers him acceptance, protection, unconditional love, and what else does a person need to be happy? No matter the age!
“To the hard times but especially to the good ones”, the words of grandmother Taniusa echoed inside my head. I left their house missing my mother deeply, but with even greater motivation to invest more love, more dedication, and more time in the family I am building right now. No matter how many achievements you should have in your professional carrier if you have no one to get back to at night if no one will sincerely be happy with your success, you are the loneliest and saddest person in the world. Grandmother Taniusa is the centre of the universe for Dami’s family, a universe full of wisdom, strength to overcome all problems, the ability to transform all difficulties into even stronger connections and most importantly: much, much love for the family.
“Dami, 50 years from now remember that you were my little heart and the same way I loved you should love your family. Bring them flowers the same way you bring to me now and may harmony last forever in your house”, grandmother Taniusa concludes her emotional message.
Thank you for your life lesson, Grandmother Taniusa. No family is perfect, and no family is safe from difficulties, and you reminded me how important is to go through everything TOGETHER.
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This interview is part of the longing campaign “Like Grandparents in Fairytales” – a project initiated by Natalia Luncas Ionel in partnership with the photographer Vlad Bodarev, the Embassy of Romania in Ireland, and the non-governmental organization Romanian Community in Ireland. The purpose of this campaign is to honour all the grandparents from the diaspora, not only the 10 ones participating in our interviews and at the same time thank them for the huge impact they have on the identity of their grandchildren living in the diaspora. Being as present as possible, our grandparents reconfirm the roots of our entire nation. On the cover of this magazine, you will be able to see where the 10 grandparents we discovered this year, started their journeys and where they are today. The next objective is to “spread” on our grandparent’s map as many stories as possible.
All copyrights belong to Natalia Luncas Ionel.
